Don’t Talk About My Friend That Way

When my daughter was four years old, she was a strawberry for Halloween. After trick or treating around the neighborhood, she picked out a bite size bag of M&Ms (about 12 M&Ms) to eat. She was enjoying the chocolate when she stopped and said, “I shouldn’t eat this whole bag, right?”

“Why’s that, Angela?”

“Because I’ll get fat, right?”

At the time my daughter weighed about 25 pounds. Where does a four year old learn phrases like “I shouldn’t eat this” and “I’ll get fat”?

She learned it because she heard it, more than once.

In college, we don’t go a day without hearing phrases like:

· I was so bad today, I ate _______(insert your favorite food here).

· I need to go to the gym to work off last night’s party.

· Do I look fat in this?

These discussions about weight, shape, diet, and / or exercise with friends and family are called “Fat Talk.” Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin studied the effects of fat talk.

They put two women in a room and gave them tests to measure body satisfaction and emotions / mood. One of the women was an actress who pretended to be just another volunteer. The actress talked about how fat she felt and how she wanted to lose weight. After 20 minutes of this, there were given the same test again.

The results were after just 20 minutes of fat talk, body satisfaction dropped significantly. Mood did not drop.

Knowing this, my question is this: what kind of effect does fat talk have day after day, 365 days a year? Especially when you hear it from people you care about.

Let’s take a break from fat talk. Let’s stop contributing to each other’s body dissatisfaction. In fact, let’s love our bodies for all that they do for us.

Step one: Be aware of when you are putting down your body, yourself, or others with fat talk.

Step two: Stop it.

Step three: Replace fat talk with something positive about yourself.

And if you have a fat talking friend, tell them, “Please don’t talk about my friend that way.”

If you need more suggestions, here is a list of 20 ways to love your body:

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/nedaDir/files/documents/handouts/20WaysTo.pdf

It takes a conscious effort to change. But you can do it.

Wellness tip of the week: Tree planting this Friday at 2:00 p.m. Meet in front of De Anza Resource Building (in Manzanita Village Res. Halls). You will also learn about undergraduate research opportunities in restoration work.

Michael Takahara is a health educator at Student Health. Post comments, suggestions, questions and your positive qualities here or email Michael.takahara@sa.ucsb.edu.

5 Responses to “Don’t Talk About My Friend That Way”

1. Michael Takahara says:

   October 17, 2008 at 11:42 am

   Many of you may know that National Love Your Body Day was celebrated on Wednesday, Oct. 15th. Here’s a cool poster from that campaign that you can ecard to your friends. (http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/posters/contest-2008/grandprize.html)

   National Sorority organization Delta Delta Delta has put together this great, short video on “fat talk” that I think you would enjoy.
   https://secure.pursuantgroup.net/pursuant4/deltadeltadelta/fall08/dddselect/flashstory.asp?

   Peace, maka
2. Lacey Johnson says:

   October 21, 2008 at 10:50 am

   Thanks for writing this Maka. You bring up many great points and most importantly, you raised my awareness while illuminating great solutions!!
3. J. Izhar says:

   October 21, 2008 at 1:24 pm

   I’m so glad you are writing articles like this for the Nexus Maka! You rock!

   –Jay
4. Ashley says:

   October 21, 2008 at 8:14 pm

   I think this is a great article that brings up many points. I used to use a lot of “fat talk” in my daily life, and I realize that not only was it affecting me, but it is offensive to those around me. I think everyone has something positive to embrace about themselves, and we all need to concentrate more on the things we can do and be appreciative of healthy bodies. Instead of putting myself down, I am thankful for the fact that I live a healthy, active life!!
5. Kari says:

   October 23, 2008 at 2:25 am

   I’m really glad you put this in your health blog. I know everyone engages in this destructive behavior sometimes, often without realizing it or verbalizing it. But your daughter is lucky to have a father like you!