Sushi You Can Sleep With

In the wake of last week’s blog, I spent the week mulling over the sinking feeling that something is not quite right in our world—that maybe there’s something missing. I think everyone gets this feeling from time to time: Most of the time the answer is common sense or good taste. For me—at least this time—neither satisfied.

So between alternating gulps of antidepressants and tears, I sought desperately to answer the question of what’s missing in my life. And then it hit me.

In what kind of unjust world do I have to separate my sushi and my sleeping?

And then the good Lord Jesus Christ bestowed upon me a marvelous gift—something far better than inheriting the Earth (which I’ve heard isn’t that great anyway).

Enter the sushi pillow.

I’m not totally sure what market this appeals to. Narcoleptic sushi fanatics? People who like to sleep with fish? Who knows. What do I know? That this is genius. They’ve even got a commercial:

 

What happens when you combine sushi and sleep? If your answer isn’t a bunch of ninja-looking motherfuckers with sushi pillows chasing you through the snow, then you obviously haven’t freebased enough wasabi lately.

A parting thought: They’re proud to be the original sushi pillow. You mean no one else thought this up first? Unthinkable.